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Staring
at the second hand seems to always be my fate.
“What
happened to the first hand?” Hmf. Good joke--but not quite great.
Must
come up with a reminder soon--pressure’s getting high.
People
like to think I’m magic--(gotta maintain the lie).
Maybe
a disaster movie like “Time-nado!” or “Time-quake!”
Or
a mythical monster pic: “The Time-Devouring Snake!”
Perhaps
a clock-themed game show called, “Hey, Buddy, You Got the Time?”
Where
hobos look for a priceless clock buried in tons of grime.
I could even do a treasure hunt, where the final prize is me!
But
do I want a parade of folks on a “Where is Geoffrey?” spree?
I
love my fans, I really do--I don’t just do this for my health.
Yes,
I like transparency, sure, but with a modicum of stealth.
I should probably remove my name and pic if that were really true,
And
certainly omit my room number (not a very cryptic clue).
But
the look of joy on people’s faces when they realize I’m THAT guy!
Is
essentially what I live for--so, remove it? I can’t see why.
I’m
a writer, see? It’s what I am. I pitch words to see if they stick.
Like
testing if pasta’s al dente (a quirky culinary trick).
So,
here I am writing about writing, and testing out future bits,
As
I describe my creative process (and aim for a million hits).
“Please
fill out your timecards, people! You don’t want to see me get rough!”
“Students,
Limiteds and Non-exempts--all of the bi-weekly staff.”
“Approve
those hours, add those comments (on your--or other’s--behalf”).
Don't
delay, do it today, as soon as you possibly can!
There’s
hundreds of people to deal with and I am just one man!
I
know it seems a mindless chore, but it’s still part of your job,
Don’t
devolve into denizens of the last-ditch timecard mob!
Forward this to staff and students--it’s such a piece of cake!
Once
they’ve done their part, do yours--then everything’ll be jake!
If
you don’t, woe is you--you’ll face my condescending tone.
Wait--oh,
heck, is that the time?? I forgot to do my own!
Sincerely, Geoff
(Yes, THAT Geoff)
P.S. Autographs and photos available upon request (for a
nominal remuneration).
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